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Countdown

4/17/2016

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How many times do we look ahead to an anticipated event, and all we can do is spend our time dwelling on the unknown. Even when we have happy moments that we look ahead to, such as a wedding, vacation or graduation, we seem to live in limbo. We can't wait for that day to arrive, and yet we have a lot of todays to live. 

When you're expecting a baby, or even waiting for that positive pregnancy test, it's easy to look ahead into the future and just feel like you're w-a-i-t-i-n-g for the day to finally get here, the one you've been thinking about for months (or years!). 

I am living that life of limbo right now. I have really great ways to pass my days; I love my work, my family keeps me busy and entertained, and there never seems to be a shortage of chores and errands to tend to. 

You may also know that I'm preparing to ride my bicycle from one end of the country to the other. I have less than four weeks before I leave (I might have just gasped when I wrote that). I am also no longer on-call for birth doula work, which means that my energy and attention is fully in "go-mode" in regard to my bicycle trip. 

But the thing is, I'm still a fully participating member of my family until I fly out in mid-May. I'm responsible for not only taking care of my bicycle preparations, but the care of my family and home, as well. That's not to say I do this on my own; my husband and I share pretty equally in our family and home responsibilities. I am still here, surrounded by end-of-school-year events for my children, laundry that never seems to quite be finished, bills that have to be paid. I still have lots of todays to live and manage. I have cabinets I want to organize, floors I want to clean, notes I want to make about our garden and general notes about the things I tend to take responsibility for, such as well-check appointments, prep for camp, and deep cleaning bathroom chores. 

I have this day I've been thinking about, the day I fly out east, and then I have this whole summer where I'm thinking about the challenges and joys I'll experience. But if I keep my focus on those things, I will most definitely regret all of the todays I missed out on. 
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    Amy Beck is a mother, wife, birth doula, and childbirth educator. She values prenatal education and preparation as families prepare to welcome their baby. 

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