Back in the fall of 2013, I joined together with three friends and embarked on a journey. We each bought a copy of The Mother's Guide to Self-Renewal: How to Reclaim, Rejuvenate and Re-Balance Your Life by Renée Peterson Trudeau and met monthly to work through the chapters. I can't emphasize enough just how timely this small group of friends and book was in my motherhood journey. 

For one of the first times, I was reading the words that felt like they were written specifically for me, and how I was feeling about my identity and my needs as mother, partner and woman. It was emotional, inspiring, at times overwhelming, and most of all, reassuring. What Renée wrote and what my friends and I shared spoke to the fact that we all felt at a loss at times and our cup empty. Giving everything we had to our children, often times our partner, and many times our school and work responsibilities meant we felt depleted and drained at the end of the day (or many times, the start of the day when we should have been feeling refreshed and ready for the day!). 

We worked through the chapters, broken down into a month's topic filled with journaling and assignments, coming back together to share intimately how we were feeling about life and our journey to feeling whole, healthy and renewed. 

What a gift it was to hear from other women in my life that they were feeling many of the same things I was experiencing! I wasn't alone, and my feelings were validated! It was okay to love my children but wonder why it felt so hard and challenging. I wasn't alone in feeling my emotional, physical, mental and spiritual needs were often neglected in order to tend to the needs of my growing family. 

This Sunday, September 13, Olive Tree Birthing and Molly Mendota are hosting Mothers' Circle. Molly will lead the Circle in conversation surrounding identity and self-care in pregnancy and motherhood. Expectant women and mothers will gather together in comfortable space, with room to say "this is really hard", "this is not what I expected", "I love being a mom, but I feel like I don't know who I am anymore," and so much more. Being with other women, in real life and not virtually, brings a different level of support in your journey. Join other women, find your community, and discover how to move through your journey feeling more supported, whole and healthy. 


To learn more or to register, contact me at 812-219-6177 or amydeebeck@gmail.com

How many times have you encountered a situation where you've asked yourself, can I do this? 

Often times in my conversations with mothers prenatally, we talk about the different ways to work through the stages of labor. There are many ways a woman might respond to the discomfort or pain of labor, and as labor progresses, a woman may shift into different coping styles. During prenatal visits, we talk about pain medication, and I usually ask questions to learn more about why a woman prefers to use or to not use pain medication. 

One thing I like to include in our conversations is learning more about a woman's motivation to labor with or without the use of pain medication. We may have more conversations surrounding how she views other interventions, and when in labor she may be encouraged to consider interventions. 

Sometimes, a woman may say something along the lines of I'm not sure I can labor without an epidural. At which point, it's important for her birth team to learn more about this worry or anticipation. How can we learn more about her feelings? Using active listening skills is important, so restating what she says and waiting for her to share more (or saying, tell me more about that) can be useful. 

I try not to be quick to jump to conclusions, because I'm not sure I can labor without an epidural may be a way for a woman to give her birth team an opportunity to reassure her, it may be a way for a woman to see how her partner or birth doula responds to the possibility of her using an epidural during labor, or it may be a way for a woman to open the conversation about being afraid of giving birth. There may be countless more reasons a woman shares with her birth team her thoughts about laboring with or without pain medication, and the only way you'll learn about her feelings and thoughts is to give her the opportunity to share openly, honestly and without judgement. 

Perhaps you're pregnant and curious how to share with your sister that you hope to give birth with/without pain medication, because your sister chose exactly the opposite! Maybe you're concerned that if you share your preferences for an unmedicated labor that you will somehow let people down if you choose to use pain meds. Or maybe your daughter is having her first baby and you think she's ridiculous for abstaining from using drugs in labor. Whatever the case, communicating openly and without judgement will only help build the bonds of trust and feelings of safety. 

Olive Tree Birthing offers prenatal consultations to help facilitate, support and educate expectant families and their birth team. Call, email or visit the Contact Me page to submit a form and I'll be in touch with you soon.