There comes a point in an expectant client's pregnancy where I begin nesting.  I start to put aside what I may need, should I receive a phone call in the middle of the night: comfortable clothing and shoes, my doula bag, food, drink, cell phone and charger, breast pump, and on. There have been times where I'm quite thankful to have been prepared, as it was helpful for me to have arrived sooner at her home, than later. 

I make arrangements with friends to care for Everett, I talk with my older children about the possibility of change in their routine, and I look ahead to what might need to be rearranged in my calendar. It's really an exciting time, even though my preparations may not be necessary for days or even weeks. 

I find that if I can settle into bed feeling like I have everything set, should I receive a phone call that night, that I sleep much better. I can fall asleep more quickly, and my sleep is more restful. 

With that said, if I treated each night's sleep as if it's going to be THE NIGHT, then it may feel like a very long waiting game. So instead, I make my preparations, and then I try to LET GO. I try to let go of that anticipation of, "will my client go into labor!?!", because I know that the more pressure I put that tonight may be THE NIGHT, then my energy is being put to use on something that doesn't need that level of energy. 

I remind myself that even knowing a client is three centimeters dilated at her last appointment, I still don't have any idea when her labor will start. Even if I've talked with her earlier in the day, and she's been feeling some cramps throughout the morning, that still doesn't mean she will be calling me later because her labor has intensified or she's requesting my support. 

So in order to really rest and be prepared for when I do receive a call, all I can do is prepare what I can and then LET GO of the questions that I don't have answers for. 

I encourage the families with whom I work to take a similar approach to their last weeks of pregnancy. When each night becomes WILL LABOR BEGIN TONIGHT? then it's bound to feel like a lengthy last few weeks. 

And before you try to tell me how hard it is to not know when labor will begin or that the last few weeks of pregnancy can be uncomfortable and exhausting in their own way, let me tell you: I GET IT! I totally understand feeling ready to go into labor, wondering when in the world my labor would begin, hoping that contractions would begin already! And it's really okay to feel how you feel, honestly. But if you're able to take some deep breaths and remind yourself that you can either stress yourself out with something you really can't control and feel even more exhausted OR you can remind yourself that letting go of those unanswered questions (when will I begin labor, how long will it last, etc.) can give you the space to prepare for your baby more peacefully. 

When your baby is born, he will expect to be held. He will expect to be close to you or someone else that loves him very much. He will expect to be tended to, his needs met. He will show hunger cues, to which he will expect to be fed. You will notice your baby relaxing in your arms as he settles in, nourished and comforted. 

In the early days, when it feels like all you're doing is feeding, changing, and soothing (among other baby-related tasks). keep in mind that you and your baby are both learning. You're also not only healing from birth, but you're producing nourishing milk, and your hormones are shifting as you settle into your non-pregnant, lactating body. Throw on top of that lack of continuous sleep and it's no wonder the first few days (weeks, months) are all a blur. 

Be kind to yourself. Be kind to those with whom you live. Everyone is learning. Everyone is adjusting.

I like to encourage you to create a comfortable, peaceful environment as you approach your due date so that once your baby is born, you will find your space to be conducive to healing, growing and learning. You don't want to put it off for once your baby is here, as you may not feel like tending to those details. 

You may want to:

• set aside clean bedding that someone can put on your bed for once your baby is born. Settling into a comfortable, clean bed can feel so nice. 
• invest in body washes or soaps that you will want to use if you bring your baby in the bath with you; something without dyes or perfumes may be better for baby's sensitive skin. 
• buy snacks and drinks that are yummy, healthy, and nourishing; you will want to have plenty of food and drinks on hand so that you aren't searching for something to eat when you're hungry. Some women say their appetite ramps up while they're breastfeeding, so be prepared that you may find yourself eating more than you were expecting.
• prepare a comfortable place in your home where you can sit, nurse your baby and rest; I enjoyed setting up a station on the couch with a baby seat nearby where I could lay my sleeping baby. I kept my phone, charger and plenty of snacks and a water bottle nearby. Don't forget to turn your ringer off when you're resting! 
• decide where and how you're going to document your baby's first few days (weeks, months); keeping a journal nearby where you can jot down a few sentences or keep a calendar nearby where you can jot down milestones or something you want to remember from the day. Once a month, I like adding my favorite pictures directly into a photo book online where I add text to document the month's happenings; at the end of the year I order it and we have all our favorite pictures in one place. 
• keep non-essential baby gear out of the way; while you may have lots of baby gear and toys for your baby to use in the future, it may feel cluttered to have it all sitting around for months at a time before your baby is big enough to use it. The same goes for clothing and shoes that are too large. 
• make a plan at the beginning of the day (or week) for how you're going to meet your various needs: physical, emotional, mental, and spiritual. Taking care of your whole self can help you function, particularly when you're feeling sleep-deprived and overwhelmed. 

There's no one right way to plan for your postpartum and your baby's early months, but it usually helps to do some prep work before he is born. Only you know what you may need and what brings you comfort and reassurance. 

When you've pictured yourself laboring, getting ready for your baby birth's, who is by your side? Are you surrounded by many loved ones? Is only your midwife or doctor present, along with the midwife's assistant or nurse? Perhaps you have a birth doula, your partner and mother to support you? 

There's not one right way to labor, just as there's not one right birth team to put together. But do consider the benefits of having someone who is trained to support you during childbirth. This person, a birth doula, is familiar with the birth process and how to support you, along with your birth partner (i.e., husband, girlfriend, mother, etc.). She is available, not to replace your birth partner, but to compliment the relationship that already exists between you and your birth partner. She is there to support your needs along with making sure your birth partner feels supported. 

Maybe you're not quite sure you want a birth doula, or maybe it's your birth partner that is hesitant to add another person to your birth team. I encourage families that are curious about whether to hire a birth doula to go ahead and schedule interviews with several to learn more. Interviews are done at no charge, and you will have an opportunity to ask questions and share your thoughts and preferences regarding your pregnancy and upcoming birth. You'll also want to meet more than one birth doula, as you may not necessarily mesh well with the first one you meet or you may find that upon meeting a couple more doulas, that in fact the first one you interviewed is the best fit for everyone. You want to feel sure that you will feel comfortable and uninhibited around whoever it is surrounds you on the day of your baby's birth. 

I realize not everyone is necessarily interested in having a stranger at their birth, and I understand the hesitations. Keep in mind, the stranger your doula is to you at that first meeting will shift into a different relationship. More than likely, you'll develop a close and comfortable relationship with her as you move closer to your baby's birth, and by the time you call her when you go into labor, you will feel at ease with her presence during such a vulnerable and intimate time. 

Remember, your doula is experienced in childbirth (having witnessed it, perhaps having given birth, and is well educated in childbirth), and you will probably not surprise her with any of your noises, movements, requests or behaviors during labor and birth. 

If you're unsure you want to hire a doula, but you are interested in the prenatal support you may receive from meeting with one, keep in mind that you may be able to arrange for meetings with a birth doula without necessarily asking her to be part of your birth team. 

I offer consultation services, similar to my prenatal visits with my clients, for families that want to discuss birth planning (i.e., preferences, birth wishes, birth plans), comfort measures and movements, and postpartum planning. During this time, you'll have a chance to share your thoughts, ask questions, and have an opportunity for additional support and resources. 

Perhaps you are happy with your prenatal care, but you wish you had a bit more time to discuss how you're feeling, planning for your labor, and how to prepare for parenthood with your care provider. While I won't give medical advice, I am available to discuss with you a lot of things that often come up in getting ready for childbirth. Without having to commit to hiring a birth doula, I can bring the best of both worlds for families that don't want to have a birth doula present during childbirth. 

And if you do decide to hire me as your birth doula (based on my availability, this may not always be possible to arrange), I will apply the consultation fees towards my birth doula fee. 

If you want to set up a consultation meeting, please give me a call or send me an email. Fees are $40/hour and most consultations last 1-2 hours (we can arrange this prior to our meeting).