When you've pictured yourself laboring, getting ready for your baby birth's, who is by your side? Are you surrounded by many loved ones? Is only your midwife or doctor present, along with the midwife's assistant or nurse? Perhaps you have a birth doula, your partner and mother to support you? 

There's not one right way to labor, just as there's not one right birth team to put together. But do consider the benefits of having someone who is trained to support you during childbirth. This person, a birth doula, is familiar with the birth process and how to support you, along with your birth partner (i.e., husband, girlfriend, mother, etc.). She is available, not to replace your birth partner, but to compliment the relationship that already exists between you and your birth partner. She is there to support your needs along with making sure your birth partner feels supported. 

Maybe you're not quite sure you want a birth doula, or maybe it's your birth partner that is hesitant to add another person to your birth team. I encourage families that are curious about whether to hire a birth doula to go ahead and schedule interviews with several to learn more. Interviews are done at no charge, and you will have an opportunity to ask questions and share your thoughts and preferences regarding your pregnancy and upcoming birth. You'll also want to meet more than one birth doula, as you may not necessarily mesh well with the first one you meet or you may find that upon meeting a couple more doulas, that in fact the first one you interviewed is the best fit for everyone. You want to feel sure that you will feel comfortable and uninhibited around whoever it is surrounds you on the day of your baby's birth. 

I realize not everyone is necessarily interested in having a stranger at their birth, and I understand the hesitations. Keep in mind, the stranger your doula is to you at that first meeting will shift into a different relationship. More than likely, you'll develop a close and comfortable relationship with her as you move closer to your baby's birth, and by the time you call her when you go into labor, you will feel at ease with her presence during such a vulnerable and intimate time. 

Remember, your doula is experienced in childbirth (having witnessed it, perhaps having given birth, and is well educated in childbirth), and you will probably not surprise her with any of your noises, movements, requests or behaviors during labor and birth. 

If you're unsure you want to hire a doula, but you are interested in the prenatal support you may receive from meeting with one, keep in mind that you may be able to arrange for meetings with a birth doula without necessarily asking her to be part of your birth team. 

I offer consultation services, similar to my prenatal visits with my clients, for families that want to discuss birth planning (i.e., preferences, birth wishes, birth plans), comfort measures and movements, and postpartum planning. During this time, you'll have a chance to share your thoughts, ask questions, and have an opportunity for additional support and resources. 

Perhaps you are happy with your prenatal care, but you wish you had a bit more time to discuss how you're feeling, planning for your labor, and how to prepare for parenthood with your care provider. While I won't give medical advice, I am available to discuss with you a lot of things that often come up in getting ready for childbirth. Without having to commit to hiring a birth doula, I can bring the best of both worlds for families that don't want to have a birth doula present during childbirth. 

And if you do decide to hire me as your birth doula (based on my availability, this may not always be possible to arrange), I will apply the consultation fees towards my birth doula fee. 

If you want to set up a consultation meeting, please give me a call or send me an email. Fees are $40/hour and most consultations last 1-2 hours (we can arrange this prior to our meeting). 

Alright, so you have stuff and you have things and you have a bit of this and that. So now you're about ready for Baby, right? 

Maybe. 

Or maybe what you need to do is get emotionally ready for this new little being that will share your home for the next eighteen more more years. 

I'm not saying you have to emotionally prep for parenting an eighteen year old, but you do need to wrap your head around building your family from where you are now to where you'll be in a matter of months (weeks, days?). 

Perhaps it's just you and your wife, and you're giddy that your first child will be born shortly. Or maybe you have four older kids and this new one was a (ahem) surprise! Families come in all different forms, but planning for and setting in place support for everyone involved can make your postpartum period that much more pleasant and enjoyable. 

As a family (and this includes small children and anyone who will be intimately involved the first few months), have a conversation about the anticipations surrounding the end of Mom's pregnancy. What does she need to feel well nourished, rested and prepared for labor, birth and caring for the needs of this new baby? Who will help support Mom, and are there things that every person can do to make the transition a bit smoother? 

What does the other parent need, in preparing for this new baby's birth? And what preparations can be made now to make the adjustment less stressful on everyone? If there are other children involved, do they have a realistic expectation on what changes may occur? And if you're not quite sure what changes may occur, then you may want to think about (talk, make a list, etc.) who carries various responsibilities now and who will take on these tasks or chores when Mom (and possibly the other parent) are unavailable? 

Some families find it takes a shorter amount of time before the parent(s) are ready to attempt some idea of before-baby "normalcy", and in fact, there may be tasks that simply can't be put to the side (i.e., walking the dog, eating dinner, wearing clean(ish) clothes! But just because these tasks can't be ignored, doesn't mean that Mom and/or the other parent needs to be the ones responsible. Perhaps budgeting during pregnancy for a postpartum doula may ease the burden of those tasks that need to happen. Or maybe planning ahead and freezing meals or setting up a meal train may be helpful when it comes to feeding everyone. 

This leads to the next idea that every person's expectations will have to shift, probably towards the end of Mom's pregnancy but definitely after the birth and during the early days and weeks (probably longer!). There may have been struggles to "get it all done" before the baby was born, and it's not going to magically get easier once Mom is no longer pregnant. Instead, the focus in the beginning of this new baby's life will be holding, feeding, diapering and resting. During this time, Mom will not be able to give 100% of her attention to anything in her life, rather she'll be balancing the needs of recovering, feeding her baby, and then shifting what is left of her energy to what is vital. Understanding that this is not how it will always be is a good reminder for everyone. There will come a time when the baby does not seemingly take everyone's time and energy, and it's helpful to think of what your baby is expecting and needing during the early days and weeks. 

Keeping open communication and remembering to let go of unrealistic expectations can be helpful in getting emotionally ready for this new baby!